Parents cannot force their children to be kind, but they can encourage them to face difficult emotions and make better choices. Here's how, writes clairejlerner
When kids act mean, they are often struggling with feelings of insecurity/self-doubt and anxiety, difficult emotions to process.Shaming kids for being mean only begets more mean behavior.
That's why just “teaching" kindness rarely makes a difference; it doesn’t address the underlying issues that are driving the unkind behavior. Below is an approach I find more effective.It is distressing to most parents to see or hear about their child being unkind.
Laying it out objectively like this demonstrates to your child that you are not judging her. You have to start where your child is at if you want to open her up to rethinking her reactions.Instead of telling her what to do, get curious.
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