“We decided to try and fake a more noble version of ourselves in the hopes that, when our daughter grew up, she’d seek out a better relationship than our own. Our household would thrum with the domestic bliss of a chirpy 1950s sitcom”
When our daughter was a toddler, we’d whisper-fight — obscene gestures and all — over her head as she blithely watched Curious George. Because we restricted the war zone to us, I deluded myself that she would be unaffected. Of course, that’s not true, as I discovered one morning when I overheard her in her bedroom pitting her Beanie Boos against each other.
Over the months, the quality of our theatrical performance went from a passable community-theater production to Method acting, simply because it was easier to stay in character. Our biggest challenge arose one afternoon when we went to our accountant’s office to do our taxes, Sylvie in tow with an iPad. We got clobbered on our return and somehow ended up owing the IRS many thousands of dollars.
From go, we have included our daughter in our grown-up lives. On a road trip down South when she was 4 months old, I nursed her in the bathrooms of soul-food restaurants. We slept in elegant rooms with four-poster beds and put her down in nests we created by lining dresser drawers with bath towels.
The last big fight I remember them having was a really long time ago. I don’t remember what it was about, but I remember my mom throwing something on the ground and screaming “I hate you” and coming into my room and dragging me out of my room and going out to my dad. She was like, “I want you to see this.” And going up to my father and saying, “I don’t hate you, I love you, but I am very mad.
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