20 years after that day at Columbine High School, I'm still asking: 'Am I safe?'

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20 years after that day at Columbine High School, I'm still asking: 'Am I safe?'
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20 years after that day at Columbine High School, I'm still asking: 'Am I safe?' | Columbine survivor Shannon McQueen for CNNopinion

Shannon McQueen graduated from Columbine High School in 2002. She is an educator, advocate, and nonprofit manager. She has a master's degree in education and has been a teacher in public, private and international schools where she seeks to create a safe environment in her classroom. The views expressed here are hers. View more opinion on CNN.

The drop-off of my child at nursery school, the hug, the fear. The thought: This could be the last time. Immediately, I put that thought away. He is safe. The sounds of rumbling as I sit in my college lecture. The thought: People are running, how do I get out of here, and fast? I realize it's the pencil sharpener. I am safe.

Shannon McQueen The unexpected cold sweats, beating heart and panic can come suddenly on a normal day: waiting in line at the grocery store, seriously taking notes of the exits in a movie theater. The thought: This is a shooting. How can I be safe? Twenty years later I am still asking this question.On April 19, 1999, I was a 14-year-old high school freshman reading a Seventeen magazine in the basement. It was about a girl who survived a school shooting.

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